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		<title>Life in college</title>
		<link>https://rdesh.xyz/life_in_college/</link>
		<pubDate>Wed, 26 Feb 2025 23:06:56 -0800</pubDate>
		
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		<description>&lt;h1 id=&#34;disclaimer&#34;&gt;Disclaimer&lt;/h1&gt;
&lt;p&gt;I want to preface this by saying I absolutely love it here.
Probably nothing else would be different if I went to another college.
That being said, I&amp;rsquo;ve learned a lot about my time here, and what I truly value.&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;h1 id=&#34;the-value-of-solitude&#34;&gt;The value of solitude&lt;/h1&gt;
&lt;p&gt;Some might simply just call this loneliness.
For some time, it did feel that way for me.
Not that I didn&amp;rsquo;t have people to see, but it was hard to make any sort of meaningful connection with people.
I think eventually it came to a point where I was so frustrated of not making any meaningful contact that I sort of became a recluse, for a lack of a better term.&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;However, it did get me thinking a lot.&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;About my future, and what I wanted from it.&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;About how I envisioned my future self and what steps I could take to get there.&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;I do think it was good that I didn&amp;rsquo;t have much external influence from other people.
I&amp;rsquo;ve always thought of myself as aspiring to be more independent, and maybe that&amp;rsquo;s a weakness.
But I&amp;rsquo;ve always been stubborn in the sense that I try my hardest to improve my own life independent of other people.&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;h1 id=&#34;things-i-noticed&#34;&gt;Things I noticed&lt;/h1&gt;
&lt;p&gt;Lots of people already want to get into a specific field.
I know myself I&amp;rsquo;ve been looking into healthcare, but I&amp;rsquo;m also interested in research.
Maybe I can combine the two later.&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;This really isn&amp;rsquo;t a problem, but I&amp;rsquo;ve always been indecisive, even back in high school.
Most of my friends wanted to be investment bankers, or lawyers, or doctors, and tailored their extracurriculars and activities to achieve that.&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;Meanwhile, I was more-or-less just scrambling trying to do everything that interested me.
It&amp;rsquo;s weird since I do want to try to get into a med school, but I also have interests in CS and more specifically developing FOSS software to help scientific endeavours.&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;My love for FOSS caused me to set up this blog, and once I can figure out how to get the website working without people having to be on the UCLA vpn, I can do a lot more interesting things.
Already I have a self-hosted &lt;a href=&#34;https://git.rdesh.xyz/explore/repos&#34;&gt;Gitea&lt;/a&gt; instance, as well as a Radicale instance.
One of my interests once I get into a research lab here is to figure out how to design publishable, interactive databases for findings and host them on my website and put the code on my own self-hosted instance.&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;h1 id=&#34;takeaways&#34;&gt;Takeaways&lt;/h1&gt;
&lt;p&gt;Before I came to UCLA, I thought college would be a lot different than high-school.
It is, but in a different way - you have a lot more agency and control over what you can do.
I effectively have free will - which is scary.&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;But at the same time, you can change and truly find yourself with no stigma.&lt;/p&gt;
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